My Buddy Bwana's Pig Hunt

Not my story, but I thought it so entertaining that I'd share with ya! enjoy!!

Wild night wif da "PIGGIES",,,,,,,,
Had several "PIGGIE" hunters out Fri evening. One guy was a "ROOKIE" and this was his 1st ever hunt, especially a night hunt!!!!Went over the "SAFETY DETAILS" and drove each to a Stand/feeder and let 'em hunt!!!!!!! All was well, until 10;30 when I heard a rifle go off and a very decernable "THUMP", indicatin' a good "HIT"!!!!!!! I picked up the radio and asked who had shot and if a "PIG" was indeed down!!!!!h Mr "ROOKIE" told me he had indeed shot a "PIGGIE" and that it was down and dead!!!!!! I drove to the area, where I figured the "PIGGIE" was,,,, got outa my suburban,,,,,,,,grabbed "ol TORCH" the 6.5 Mil candle powered hand held light and headed the 30 yards to the creek right in front of the "ROOKIE'S" stand/feeder. He was already waitin for me across the creek,,,,sooo I asked him the location of the "PIGGIE" that was supposedly down,,,,,,,when 10 feet in front of me and standing directly on the trail leading to the Stand/feeder was a "PIZZED OFF" 200# plus thigh high sow,,,,,, bleedin' from a hit in the neck area somewhere and facin' directly towards me!!!!!! I didn't have my pistola!!!!!!!! It was still in the truck ,,,,as I thought this "PIGGIE" was supposedly dead!!!!!!!!! Holy CRAP!!!!!!!!! I backed up slowly and headed for the truck,,,,,ALL the while hopin "MISS PIGGIE" wasn't followin!!!!!!!!Well, she WAS,,,,,, so when I got to the Suburban,,,,,,,I jumped in and grabbed the Pistola and SHUT THE DAMNED DOOR!!!!! The pistola is a 22/45 Ruger Heavy barrelled 22 Auto!!!!!!!!! I opened the door,,,,looked around and saw NO "MISS PIGGIE"!!!She had evidently returned to the area where she was originally shot and was layin down again!!!!! I turned on "ol TORCH" and lit up the entire area and saw "Miss Piggie" again layin on that trail, but this time she was more nearer the driveway goin in and definitely further up the creekbank!!!!!!!!!I raised the 22 and proceeded to shoot at her head, when she moved and got up and charged me!!!!!!! I hit her in the ear and this really "PIZZED" her off!!!!!! She kept comin, makin all kinds of "HELLISH" sounds of "GRUNTIN and SQUEALIN"!!!!!!! I knew I MUST stand my ground and shoot her directly in the head or I was gonna possibly "TOAST"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She was 5 feet away and comin when I squeezed the trigger again and "NOTHIN"!!!!!1 The gun was jammed and "MISS PIGGIE" was incomin!!!!!!!From past experiences I knew she couldn't see me with "ol TORCH" blindin her so I held the light away from my side and as "MISS PIGGEE" hit the light I KICKED her in the shoulder and rolled her which gave me a few seconds more to try and unjam the 22!!!!!!"MISS PIGGIE" got up and come at me again, so I had to hit her over the head with the pistol!!!!!!!!! It's a heavy barrelled gun and I put quite a thumpin on her head and again knocked her backwards,,,,but this time she kept her feet under her and charged again towards the light and me,,,,,,,,,, I whacked her again with the 22 and the darned thing unjammed itself and the 2nd shell went into the chamber, ,,,,, I fired "POINT BLANK" and she turned away and went 20 yards and fell,,,,,,,,,,,I UNLOADED immediately as she was goin away anyways!!!!!!!! Mostly out of being "PIZZED" at myself for bein so STUPID and allowin me to get myself into such a predickament!!!!!!My heart was pumpin about as fast as it ever has ,,,,,,,, so I gathered myself up and called to the "ROOKIE",,,,,, who by this time was back up the ladder /stand,,,, to bring me his rifle .243!!!!!!! He finally did, but after askin me where the "RINO" was and if it was safe for him to come down!!!!!! He had climed the ladder and left his rifle on the ground at the initial spot he began witnesing the "CHARGE"!!!!!!!The only thing he could say was "DAMN,,,,,,THAT WAS COOL"!!!!!!!! Anyways I got his .243 and shot "MISS PIGGIE" again and just for good measure a 2nd time ,,,,,makin sure she was dead!!!!!!!!I then went back to the Surburban and sat down for a few minutes and got myself composed!!!! I asked "ROOKIE" what he thought and ALL he could say was that he was scared "SH_ _ LESS" and thought I was gonna get KILLED!!!!!!! But that it was the "COOLEST" thing he had ever witnessed!!!!!!!I wasn't amused!!!!!!Anyways,,,,,,evidently "MISS PIGGIE" was within a couple of dayze of delivering and had become very protective even thought no babies were on the ground yet!!!!!! After being gutted and skinned she weighed 160#!!!!!1That 22 is now ONLY gonna be used for "PLINKIN" and the ".45 GC" is goin back on my hip!!!!!!!! I'm NEVER gonna go to a "GUNFIGHT' wifout bein the "BIGGEST GUN" there!!!!!!!!Dan
__________________

one of Dan's other buddies made him the tombstone.